by Tina Seymour Demoran Esquire, Seymour Law Firm PLLC
Last weekend, along the Coast, I read of several wrecks, accidents and near-misses, where someone narrowly avoided serious or even deadly injuries.
I wondered how many of them had their affairs in order, just in case the worst-case scenario occurred.
I had a woman call me on Saturday and ask me, “Mama has been diagnosed with severe dementia and the doctors told us she can’t take care of her legal or financial affairs any longer. She doesn’t have a will, powers of attorney…anything…in place. Can we bring her in and get a Power of Attorney and her Will signed for her?”
Unfortunately, once the person is declared unable to take care of her affairs, it’s too late. This means, on nearly every occasion this occurs, you have to go to a judge to get the authority to handle her affairs, make medical decisions for her, and even to pay her bills.
If she had been responsible for minor children, they would really be in trouble.
Not putting an estate plan in place for your family and your children, in case something happens to you, is the scariest conversation you should never avoid.
While estate planning can seem like a big, scary—even morbid—topic, the sobering truth is that we live in an uncertain world and any moment could be our last. As a busy parent, you have a tendency to want to push these thoughts from your head, believing that if we don’t talk about it, it won’t happen.
Unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
If you are a parent, estate planning is vital to the well being of your family. After all, if your family must suddenly face the grief and loss of your absence, planning your affairs is the best way to comfort and provide continued care for your loved ones.
Unfortunately, we can’t always predict the roads of life, but we can ease the worry and bring ourselves peace, knowing that if something happens, the people we love the most will be taken care of.
Talk About It
When I married my husband in 2014 and had the honor of becoming his wife, I also had the honor of becoming the stepmom to a pretty amazing young man and step-mom-in-law to a wonderful young woman.
They are expecting their first child in a few months.
As soon as I found out Cherie was expecting, I realized that I needed to update my estate plan.
After I had my documents in order and signed…I sat down with Philip and went over them, to make sure he knew what my wishes were.
It seemed like a morbid way to start date night…but it was too important to put off.
I get it–just starting the estate planning conversation can be uncomfortable and daunting, even with your spouse.
I always tell my clients that I’m an old medical person who grew up around construction workers…then went to law school.
I can usually make the most morbid topic humorous. Most of my meetings with clients regarding estate plans are filled with laughter and tears, as we remember those we lost…and tell stories about family and friends.
I am honored to share this time with them…as they are trusting me with such an important part of their lives.
I help them kick-start the conversation, by providing upfront questions to cover the most important and even smaller topics, have draft copies of the documents ready for the first face to face meeting, and meet personally with every client, to ensure that a licensed attorney has created their documents, from the beginning….to the end.
Most of the time, my clients walk out with their entire estate plan in place in less than an hour and a half.
Here are a few of the estate planning points I cover in my initial paperwork and discuss further with my clients during these meetings:
• Your Children
Allow yourself to consider what would happen to your family if one of you passed, or if, God forbid, something happened to both of you. Who would you want to watch over your children? What are your wishes for their future? How would you plan to provide for them financially in the case of death or illness?
• Your End-of-Life Wishes
Yes, this is the part where you decide when it’s ok for your family to “pull the plug.” The life-support question is a tough one, but oh-so-important. This conversation can also include funeral and burial preferences (including religious service preferences). Determine who will act in your place to make healthcare decisions for you (who will have your medical power of attorney).
• Your Stuff
Who will you designate as beneficiaries? How will your things be divided up upon your death? Will you leave a portion of your estate to charity or leave it all to your family? If you and your spouse face debt, also consider how your debt might affect your surviving spouse or children.
Get the Basics Covered
At minimum, you should have a will and life insurance coverage.
According to Dave Ramsey, 70% of Americans die without a will.
I have found this number to be much higher on the MS Gulf Coast.
Much. Higher.
It’s one of the main reasons why I placed my law firm smack dab in the middle of the MS Gulf Coast…why I keep my office space smaller than most firms…and why I don’t buy a lot of expensive ads on tv, billboards, or on the radio.
By being careful with my firm’s marketing and office budget, I am able to pass these rather significant savings along to my clients.
By keeping my fees low, I can ensure that more people will get their estate plans in place.
My goal is to ensure that every person on the Coast has a chance to get their estate plan in order, and to keep this plan affordable.
You shouldn’t have to spend your life savings to establish a plan for…well…your life savings!
Trust or Will? That is the question.
If you have investments, a larger estate or you’re hoping to leave a legacy for your very young children, a living trust may be the best option to help your beneficiaries avoid time-consuming and expensive legal fees just to access their inheritance.
Trusts are definitely more complicated, so please seek legal advice to ensure you’re choosing the right option for your estate.
In the same thread, if you have investments, real estate, various savings plan types, multiple bank accounts, and multiple children and beneficiaries (children from a previous marriage, for example), you truly need to seek the advice of an attorney.
Paying for estate planning may seem to be a lot of money for a family trying to put food on the table.
However, setting up your will correctly is worth every penny.
If you’ve ever seen a family torn apart arguing over an estate, you’ll know what I mean.
As a probate attorney, I see it way too often.
Money can change people. Probate also tends to be a venue for airing family grief that has been building up for years under the surface.
The worst part of my job is seeing how very ugly these family confrontations can become when a person dies.
Grief can cause emotions to run very high, so having a clear outline and plan in place is key to ensuring the smoothest transition of your estate as possible.
Don’t leave it up to your kids to “figure it out when you’re gone,” as one person told me her mom stated, who died without a will.
Her kids are still not talking to each other, months after this mom’s death.
Sadly, one daughter showed me a Facebook post that included a laughing, happy family sitting in front of Mom’s Christmas tree last year. Now, the kids are not even considering a Christmas party this year.
This case may last years, as each side continues to refuse to even consider an amicable and fair solution….and they grow farther and farther apart.
However, just having a will may not ensure that you can avoid probate.
Probating a will can cost a family thousands of dollars.
I say this often: If you don’t consult with a competent estate planning attorney who understands the probate process regarding the paperwork for your assets, you may still find that your estate has to go through the probate process.
If you rely on a one-size-fits-all format….or you download a will package…you run the risk of not having a sufficient plan in place.
As a probate and estate planning attorney, I can tell, in one glance, which wills were created online.
So can a judge.
I’m also finding that, more and more, judges are not accepting documents created online without further documentation or proof as to the testator’s wishes, as many lack jurisdictional and even state-specific language that is key to avoiding probate or ensuring the will is admitted into probate.
If you think there may be a challenge to your estate plan, then there are ways to ensure that you have documentation and proof in place, before you die, to ensure that most of those claims can be effectively overcome in court.
There are steps you must take now to ensure your affairs are in order, so that you can increase your chances of avoiding probate.
When you are dead, it’s too late to sign a new document or amend your estate plan.
What you have is what you have.
Another thing to consider:
By law, Mississippi DOES NOT allow a person to present probate, conservatorship or guardianship papers to a court without hiring an attorney.
The reason? One of the main reasons is that the probate process is too multi-faceted and complex for a non-attorney to handle it.
Why would you not hire an attorney on the front end….when the courts REQUIRE you to hire an attorney on the back end…for probate?
The simplest probate cases can run into the thousands of dollars.
If an attorney has to prove intent of the Testator (that’s you when you die), it’s going to be done at an hourly fee that starts at most times, at $300 an hour.
If it’s contested, additional hearings, medical professional witnesses (who sometimes cost more than the attorney by the hour), and additional client meetings will be required.
That doesn’t include depositions, travel to and from the courthouse, the probate paperwork, etc.
See where I’m going with this?
Get your estate plan in place NOW with the potential of saving your estate, and your heirs, thousands later.
As a mom (or stepmom, like me!), we all LOVE a bargain.
You want your kids to inherit every penny they can…and that money to be used for their welfare and education, not attorney fees.
So, while this may be the scariest conversation you should ever have…can you or your family really afford to put it off?
Isn’t it a better use of your money and your family’s time, to get everything in order NOW, rather than leave your estate’s assets and where they go up to the evidence that will be recreated by an attorney in court?
Let’s face that “zombie” of a conversation together…and get your affairs in order…so you can face what the future holds…with a lot more peace of mind.
