by Andrew Koslosky KGCHS, Contributing Writer
Recently I have been struggling with the planning of my time.
I, like many of my brothers and sisters of the Knights of Columbus and Knights of Peter Claver, spend hours in service in our community and with our Diocese. Recently, I came across a scripture reading that really started me thinking about some things. I thought it would be of great interest to you also.
In Luke 10:38–42, Jesus enters the home of two sisters, Martha and Mary. Martha welcomes Him, busies herself with the work of hospitality, and becomes frustrated that Mary is not helping.
Mary, meanwhile, sits at the Lord’s feet and listens to His word. Martha’s service is not evil; in fact, hospitality is a beautiful expression of faith. Yet Jesus gently tells her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
This passage speaks strongly to us. Many sincere men and women, including many of my faithful brothers and sisters I mentioned earlier, exhaust themselves in good works. But I do wonder if at times we are neglecting the simple thing Jesus asks first: to be with Him, listen to Him, receive His love, and live from a relationship with Him.
This is not a passage that condemns our service. Jesus Himself served. He washed feet, fed the hungry, healed the sick, welcomed sinners, and ultimately gave His life on the cross.
The same Gospel that gives us Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet also gives us the Good Samaritan, who loved his neighbor through costly action. The issue is not whether service matters because it certainly does.
The deeper question is this… from what source does our service flow? Is our activity the fruit of abiding love, or is it a substitute for intimacy with Christ? Are we serving because we have first received the love of God, or are we serving in order to prove ourselves, quiet our anxiety, earn approval, avoid stillness, or meet needs in? Boy that question really hits home to me.
Martha begins well. Luke says she welcomed Jesus into her home. That detail matters. She is generous, responsible, attentive, and willing to open her life to the Lord.
Many of us today resemble Martha in the best sense.
We organize church events, teach children, visit the sick, serve on committees, prepare meals, fix buildings, lead worship, manage outreach, and quietly carry burdens that others never see.
Without such service, communities would suffer. It would be wrong to read the story as if Martha’s work has no value.
Yet Luke also says Martha was “distracted with much serving.”
The problem was not the serving itself but the distraction, anxiety, and resentment that began to grow in her heart. Her work, which may have started as love, became agitated. She no longer simply served Jesus; she became troubled by Mary, burdened by the tasks, and frustrated that Jesus did not correct the situation according to her expectations.
Her complaint, “Lord, do you not care?” reveals how service can become a problem when it is separated from trust. Mary’s posture is different. She sits at Jesus’ feet and listens.
In the world of the New Testament, sitting at a teacher’s feet was the posture of a disciple.
Mary is not being lazy; she is receiving. She is not rejecting service; she is choosing the foundation from which all true service must arise.
Jesus calls this “the good portion” or “the better part.”
It is better not because action is unimportant, but because relationship with Jesus is where it must all come from. If the branch does not remain connected to the vine, it cannot bear fruit. If the servant does not remain close to the Master, service becomes noise, performance, and exhaustion.
I certainly have learned that lesson over the years.
Modern life rewards visible activity. We measure faithfulness by calendars, programs, attendance, donations, committees, posts, projects, and results. Churches, charities, families, and workplaces often praise the person who is always available, always producing, always saying yes.
Prayer can seem less urgent than a meeting.
Listening to Scripture can feel less productive than organizing an event. Sitting with Jesus can appear selfish when there is so much to do.
If we take the time to think about it, Jesus does not ask first for our productivity. He asks for our hearts. He calls us to listen, to trust, to receive, and then to love.
When service becomes the center, even noble service can become a burden too heavy to carry.
- We begin to define ourselves by usefulness.
- We become irritated when others do not work as hard as we do.
- We silently rank our devotion against theirs.
- We lose joy. St. John Paul II said, “The soul that has stopped receiving love may still serve, but it often serves with anxiety, comparison, and hidden anger.”
This is why the question “Which is more important, service or relationship?” must be answered carefully.
Service is important, but relationships are primary. Service is the fruit; relationship is the root. Service is the expression; love is the source.
Without relationships, service can continue for a time, but it slowly dries out as we burn out. With relationships, service becomes freer, more humble, more truthful, and more loving.
There are many holy reasons we the people serve.
- We serve because Jesus loved us first.
- We serve because the needs around us are real.
- We serve because the Holy Spirit has given us certain gifts to serve.
A hungry person needs food, a lonely person needs presence, a grieving person needs comfort, a neglected child needs care, and a wounded neighbor needs mercy.
To love as Christ loves means to move toward the needs of others. Yet we must also be honest: there are times when we serve for reasons that are mixed, wounded, or self-protective.
- We may serve because we want to be needed.
- We may serve because praise makes us feel valuable.
- We may serve because we fear disappointing others.
- We may serve because saying no feels like rejection.
- We may serve because being busy keeps us from facing loneliness, grief, anger, or spiritual dryness.
- We may serve because activity gives us a sense of control.
- We may serve because we believe, deep down, that God will love us based on the more if we do more.
If we look in the mirror, we all can say at one time or another we have been guilty of such motives. These motives do not mean the service is worthless, but they do mean our hearts need healing. Jesus does not shame Martha.
He speaks her name twice with tenderness: “Martha, Martha.”
His corrections are personal and compassionate. He sees beneath her activity to her anxiety.
Likewise, Jesus sees beneath our overcommitment, resentment, and exhaustion. He is not merely asking us to do less. He is inviting us to return to the place where love is received before service is offered.
St. John brings the heart of the matter into focus: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God.” John does not begin with human effort. He begins with God as the source of love.
Love does not begin with our achievements but rather with God’s initiative. This truth changes service completely.
If God loved us first, then we do not serve to become loved; we serve because we are loved.
If God abides in us, then love is not something we manufacture by spiritual willpower; it is something we receive and share. Those who sit at Jesus’ feet learn that the deepest identity is not “worker,” “helper,” “leader,” or “provider,” but rather to be called a beloved child of God.
Sitting at Jesus’ feet is not an escape from loving people.
Rather, it is where we learn how to love people correctly. The one who abides in God’s love is freed from the need to use service as a ladder to significance. Love becomes less possessive, less resentful, less driven by applause, and more patient, truthful, and more sincere.
In today’s world, Churches and ministries often depend on volunteers, and needed work can easily become urgent work. Good people see gaps and step in.
Over time, they may carry too much, not because Jesus asked them to, but because no one else did. A person may mistake every need for a personal calling. Yet even Jesus did not heal every sick person in Galilee in one day.
- He withdrew to pray.
- He moved according to the Father’s will.
- He served from communion, not compulsion.
“The better part” is not laziness, it is attentiveness. It is the decision to let Jesus be Lord before we rush to do work in His name.
The world needs servants, but it needs servants who know they are loved.
Families need caregivers, but they need caregivers whose souls are not starving.
Churches need workers, but they need workers formed by prayer.
The poor need advocates, the grieving need comforters, and the lonely need companions, but all of these works become healthier when they flow from God who is love.
So here are some questions to ask yourself.
When I serve, am I peaceful or resentful? Am I obeying Jesus or merely responding to pressure? Am I loving the person in front of me, or am I seeking to be admired as loving? Can I stop serving for a time without losing my sense of worth? Do I make room to sit at Jesus’ feet, or do I treat prayer as an interruption? Do I believe God loves me before I accomplish anything today?
These questions are not meant to condemn us but to reset and reflect on the real reason for being in service to others.
Service is precious, but it is not ultimate. Relationship with Jesus is “the better part” because it is the source from which all holy service comes.
Without Jesus, service may become anxiety dressed as devotion.
With Him, service becomes love made very visible.
The simple thing asked of us is also the most important thing…come to Him, remain in Him, and let His love become the life behind all we do.
My dear Brothers and Sisters of the Knights of Columbus, Knights of Peter Claver, Ministry leaders, community leaders and those who volunteer and serve…Thank you for all you do with your good works.
May I offer this addendum to that thank you.
One question now comes to mind. I am as guilty as anyone of getting caught up in the works of service and losing sight of the call to let Jesus drive the ship.
How about you?
Peace my Brothers and Sisters, until next week…
