by The Great Foodini

I have found a place…it is one of those out of the way places in the middle of nowhere that is one of those fabled spots that people talk about decades after they’ve had “one of the best meals of my life”. It’s called the Jourdan River Steamer.

It’s in a town called the kill…It is spelled KILN, but locals call it THE KILL. I have to admit, driving into a remote woodland area called the kill is intimidating.

It is very cozy and down home feeling right on the river, which unfortunately has caused it problems in the past during flooding during Hurricane Katrina and Isaac in 2012. Now it is re-built, up on stilts and is immaculate.

When I told coworkers and friends that I was taking my wife for a food review/date, they let out a big whistle and said NIIIIICE.

My wife got worried about the dress code and when I called earlier in the day, I asked the fella answering the phone what we should wear. He asked, what are you wearing now? I laughed and said khaki shorts and flip flops. He laughed and said come on then.

Having two little boys at home, getting a sitter and going out for a meal together is a treat and when I take her out, I am wanting to make it count…its gotta be romantic…if you know what I mean. For some weird reason, nothing is more of an aphrodisiac to my significant other than a big ole mess of crabs. Pun definitely intended. If she reads that last line, this may be my last column.

When we ordered, we had no idea what we were getting into. My wife decided to order the King crab leg cluster. I’m here to tell you, that when they showed up to the table, we were wondering what sort of nuclear plant retention pond they got these things from. They were monstrous. I am talking Japanese people running through Tokyo screaming and pointing sized monster crab legs. The legs were no joking as long as my arm and very thick as well. One crab leg cluster was over 2 lbs. of meat.

I had the very decadent lobster kadobster, which is basically a lobster split open to expose the tail meat and stuffed with all sorts of goodness like shrimp and jumbo lump crab meat and topped with a creamy and garlicky swiss cheese sauce. This is a crowd favorite. It is one of the most sought-after dishes on the menu.

For dessert, I suggest topping off the meal with the outstanding coco chockolocka boom boom.